Sept 14, 2005

Wow, the last week has been crazy and here I am cut up and unable to relax. I am still having my body react all the time. I talked to my therapist on Monday on the phone but it didnt help. My weight has stabilized for a little over a month now much to my dismay. What is wrong with me that I cant even starve right. I am so weak. Everything has become so hard this past week. I cant function, I cant even talk to my best friend without using every ounce of energy I have. Its like reliving my past, I feel so disconnected, all I can do is be fake. I am torn because all I can do is talk to my therapist because it is the only place I can be real and honest but I just want to disappear, self-destruct, away from everything and everyone.